Seemingly Insignificant 

Posted on July 23, 2016 Updated on July 23, 2016

I find myself feeling restless again. The urge to move. Get out. Runaway. It’s what I always do when I get bored. It’s like I have this inability to settle, or maybe it’s just this fear of complacency. I don’t know, but I drive myself mad. Because there has to be something I’m missing, right? (Cue FOMO)

You see, I get this deep longing and homesickness for Asia. There I was always on the move. Deep relationships were formed in 2 hours, and well, goodbyes, albeit still difficult were a little easier to cope with because I would probably become best friends with the next person that walked into the cafe wearing hippie pants. 

It’s like summer camp- where you’re learning all these universal lessons on self-love and understanding among everyone else wanting to learn the same and you’re all having fun along the way. And it’s easy to maintain this hippie mentality when you’re surrounded by it. I mean, you’re basically sitting in a circle singing kumbaya and wigging out on some kind of mind trip everyday. Let’s face it; it’s not that hard. 

But then you get back into the “real” world- the wild wild West if you will, and suddenly it’s not that easy anymore. People side glance the feather in your hair and scoff every time you mention universal love. You have to throw up peace signs anytime you say something too hippie dippy just to show people you’re very aware you sound straight out of Woodstock. 

You’re not in summer camp anymore, and it’s time to put everything you learned into practice. How long before you slip back into old habits? The fear. The anxiety. The depression. Oh, but you promise yourself you’re not going down without a fight. You’re stronger than that. You didn’t shit in holes for nothing. 

So where is this anxiety coming from? That you’re not seeing famous landmarks every week? That you’re starting to acquire more than a backpack’s worth of stuff? That you haven’t gotten a new passport stamp in awhile? Nah. 

You just think there’s something “more” that you’re missing. Isn’t that what it all boils down to? That you’re not doing anything beyond yourself? That you’re not enjoying your right now. That your life should be more than this. But here’s the thing. It doesn’t have to be. Because when I look back at my times of traveling it was less about the sites I saw and the “crazy” things I did but more about the people I shared it with. 

It’s about these seemingly insignificant moments- these moments make up our lives. They happen anywhere and everywhere, and they happen right now. In India… In Melbourne… In Atlanta… Everywhere. And these moments… They’re all we’ve got.