learning to love my mess

Posted on May 19, 2015 Updated on May 19, 2015

I know what you guys might be thinking. That Kathleen… man, that girl’s got it all figured out. She has direction and knows exactly what she’s doing with her life. In fact she’s so together, I even want her to be my life guru.
And not to disappoint anyone or anything, but there’s only a couple of things in my life I know for certain and one of those things is that I don’t have my shit together.

But maybe that’s okay.

Perhaps the worst belief you can have is that being lost is a bad thing.
But what if it’s not?
Maybe the worst thing for us is allowing ourselves to stay stuck—letting the fear of getting lost scare us so much that we don’t move at all.

So we don’t take risks. We play it safe. Following our bliss becomes too risky of journey. So we decide it’s not worth it. And we never really reach our true potential.

I’m learning to love my mess of a life.

My mess keeps me moving forward.
It means I always have something to clean up.
It means I always have something to keep searching for.
My mess helps me learn.
My mess gives me purpose.

I don’t have to know where I’m going all the time. As long as I keep moving forward and searching for what makes me, well, me. And the deeper I get into my mess, the more I find that I really like the woman that I’m becoming. I’m going to be okay as long as I keep moving forward. I might even be more than okay.

And I’m never alone on this journey. Sorrow joins me sometimes, but so does joy. They are both great companions for the lessons only they can teach.

I hope I never have my shit together because if I ever get to point where I have it all together then I cease to stop seeking. I cease to stop learning. I cease to stop growing.

I’m okay with not knowing exactly what I’m doing with my life because my mess of a life is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me.